Saturday, October 8, 2011

Standing on the Edge of Darkness

When you come to the edge of all the light you know
and are about to step into the darkness of the unknown,
faith is knowing that one of two things will happen:
there will be solid ground to stand
on or you will be taught to fly. 
--Author Unknown

In my “feeling” heart, it feels like all light has gone out.  I feel rejected; lonely; completely discarded and unwanted.

Behind me is a small glimmer of light; of what used to be.  Before me looms the darkness of all that is unknown.  My eyes search desperately into the depths for something…anything that looks like the slightest ray of light, of hope.

I bow my head in great sadness, with tears that stream down my face and fall at my feet, the sound in my head like shattered glass.

It’s when I open my eyes, in this bowed posture, that I see the light at my feet.  I look up and around and find myself immediately enveloped in soft light.  Just enough for one step.  That’s all that is required.


Psalm 119:105 – “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

So even though my "feeling" heart senses that all is lost, my "faith-filled" heart knows there is something better. 

As I move forward into this life that is not what I had hoped for – not what I had dreamed about for so many recent years – I know this light will wrap around me like a blanket, warm and protective.  It will comfort me amidst the darkness and it will guide me through it.

I don’t expect it to be easy; I don’t expect the pain to go away immediately.  But I know there will come a day, when little by little as I grow stronger, more light will be given to me and the path will be made clearer, and I will fly like an eagle in freedom.

Until that day, my walk will be slow – it will become more sure and steady and strong with each small step I take forward.

What darkness are you walking through?  Won't you allow the light to surround and comfort you as well?

1 comment:

V said...

I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling, but so glad the you know where your light comes from. Keep your eyes focused there. Your words are beautiful and I pray that writing them will help you heal.

I stopped by from Ann's blog. Maybe it was just so I could whisper a prayer for you tonight.

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